By Mary Loden
Love’s Law, a new Iowa law that aims to protect unborn children from domestic abuse by upgrading charges to a class-D felony, goes into effect July 1. For Kaylee Ciavarelli, who is from Clear Lake and a former victim and founder of the law, it has been an arduous two years trying to get Iowa legislators to pass the bill. Now, she wants to get the word out and help people understand.
From an April 27 Facebook post Ciavarelli announced the passage of the law, “It is OFFICIAL! Mountain Moved! Can you believe it? Abused while seven months pregnant by the person who was supposed to love me. Our two-year old son who watched, and our unborn daughter, felt everything that I did…broken in every way.”
The pain and shock from the physical abuse was followed by the crippling fear that her unborn daughter, Love, was dead, because no heartbeat could be detected. Then came the anger when she learned that Iowa had no law to protect unborn children from domestic abuse – unless the baby died. And there were no consequences for the abuser.
Love survived, but there was damage to her skull that needed ear-to-ear surgery. Damage that was irrefutably proven to be caused by trauma and not a genetic predisposition. Then she was asked to relive the abuse by filling out another detailed police report – from a pregnancy standpoint – and waited for a response that never came. “It’s trauma, and it’s triggering [for the pain and memories,] and for what? Why did you have me do that for you,” Ciavarelli wondered.
Ciavarelli has been a tireless giver and long-time supporter to single mothers or anybody that needed help with anything. “So people always are reaching out to me, “ she said. “I’m not part of an organization. I just do things and people know that. I will either make a Facebook post and see if someone can donate something or I figure it out.”
Suddenly she was the one who needed help and support. She found that help and more through the Crisis Intervention Center where she met with Angie Perez from United Way and started speaking at events to spread her story and advocate for the rights of unborn children.
“After I started speaking about the abuse, that’s when all these women’s [stories] started flooding in with their abusive situations and asking what they should do and thanking me. And now it’s just everyday life.”
That was the moment that Love’s Law was set into motion and Ciavarelli began an awareness campaign on Facebook making people aware of the Iowa laws and what she wanted to change.
Her older children, Jaiden, 19, and DeLaila, 10, have been their mother’s biggest supporters. She said that Brandon, now age four, still talks about the abuse he witnessed and is in therapy, while Love, age two, is an energetic, bubbly toddler. She attributes a lot of her strength and courage to the strong relationship she has built with all four children.
Then she met Barb Hovland, a lobbyist from Mason City, who works on women’s issues and got the law passed that increases the time limit for reporting sexual abuse.
“She’s just out there helping people. She doesn’t get enough credit. She didn’t get paid to help me,” Ciavarelli said.
Hovland drove Ciavarelli and baby Love to the state Capital in February 2022, introducing her to legislators and encouraging her to tell her story. That was the day she met Representative Jeff Shipley (R-Fairfield), the man who helped move the bill along until it became a law.
Ciavarelli and her children were invited to the Iowa Capital to witness the law-signing event. “Man, look at Love sitting on the Governor’s lap…is this real,” she thought. “God put me back together!”
But the fireworks moment – when you finally get everything you’ve worked for – never happened. After some quiet reflection Ciavarelli realized that getting the law passed had been her passion for two years and now it was over. Now she wants to apply her new-found knowledge to a new project – such as tweaking the current Child Support laws.
It’s been over two years since Ciavarelli’s abuse and fear for her daughter’s life.
“This is something that I will live with for the rest of my life. These are things that will affect us in our future relationships. I’m terrified. I’m terrified today again [talking about it.],” she said. She also admitted that getting by day-to-day has been tough since her former domestic partner hasn’t seen his children in two years, nor offered support.
“But God has definitely hooked us up and been the father to the fatherless,” Ciavarelli said. “We have had amazing angels show up to help,” Ciavarelli said.
Although “Love’s Law,” which enhances a domestic-assault charge to a class-D felony when a victim is pregnant, became effective July 1, Hovland told Ciavarelli the work wasn’t over yet.
“She said it was time to get the word out to make sure people understood that there is protection for [abused women] and your babies,” Ciavarelli said. “A new law means nothing if police officers aren’t aware and the offenders aren’t being charged and held accountable.”
