The other night, I went out to dinner with a friend, and over guacamole, the conversation quickly, and predictably, turned toward the deeper stuff (we are not small talk people, and she’s empathetic regarding my recent “life changes”). She was reminded of a poem called “Welcome to Holland,” by Emily Perl Kingsley. She began describing it to me, and later sent it to me to read. It was so impactful, I am using this week’s column to share a synopsis, and encourage you to read the poem yourself.
This poem is about the author’s experience raising a child with a disability, but for the purposes of our conversation, my friend brilliantly applied it more broadly to any time our expectations and our realities are not the same—which happens to everyone.
The author describes her experience like dreaming your whole life about a trip to Italy. You read travel and language books, imagine the iconic places you will go and the sights you will visit, and plan the details of your dream trip with excitement and love. When the time is finally right, you buy your ticket. You board your flight with utter glee, and after hours of travel, you are informed the flight has landed—in Holland. After wanting to visit Italy with your whole heart, the idea of instead arriving in Holland is understandably jarring, confusing, and painful. But, Holland is where you are, and it is where you shall stay.
You haven’t planned for Holland. You haven’t packed for Holland. You don’t know what to do in Holland. You don’t know the language, where to go, or what to experience. So naturally, life in Holland is difficult, at first. The pace is slower, the challenges are unanticipated, and the idea of finding joy in this strange place is much more difficult than in Italy, a destination you’d dreamed about, studied, and planned upon.
Then, over time, you start to notice the beautiful tulips, the presence of different art, and new sights to see. You begin to find peace, comfort, and joy in Holland, and begin to feel a different kind of happiness. Even as the stories of those who did get to Italy bring up pangs of longing and “what ifs,” from time to time, and the experiences in your unplanned destination can be more challenging, you do eventually find the life you’re living in Holland is no less sweet.
“Welcome to Holland” reminds us that when our lives turn out different than we planned, when things are more difficult or bumpy, or when loss forever alters our road ahead, that doesn’t mean we will never find peace or joy or happiness. If we spend our lives only longing for the architecture of Italy, we miss out on the lush Tulips of Holland. There is much beauty in all life’s destinations—even, or maybe especially, in the places, and people, that we never saw coming.
Sara Middleton is a freelance columnist and resident artist/owner of Studio Sol Gallery & Creative Space in Eagle Grove, Iowa. Email her at sara.studiosol@gmail.com or find Studio Sol on Facebook or Instagram.
