Well, that was quick. It’s almost 2020, I’m almost 30 and my wedding is 268 days away, but who’s counting?
Like all others, 2019 was a year, and some things happened. I’d venture to say that personally, it was one of my best yet, and nationally, well, we all got along and nothing bad happened, right? Without further adieu, let’s get to the superlatives and start making a list of all the resolutions we’ll abandon by February.
Iowa event of the year: the great Carson King/Busch Light/Des Moines Register/RAGBRAI fiasco of 2019- Sometimes I ponder whether this insane controversy will be remembered generations down the road, and if it is, how will we explain it?
Remember how mad you were? Remember how mad we all were? Remember how it all started over a harmless sign and became the most unavoidable discussion topic in the state for a solid two months? Me too. I’m already trying to forget it.
Poor Carson King. I hope he’s enjoying his Busch Light. Luckily, I’m way too out of shape to have to choose between cross-state bike rides.
Viral creation of the year: Baby Yoda- The memes, people. The memes.
Some guy in a Disney marketing office is rolling in dough and will never have to work another day in his life. The shameless and never-ending film franchise that everyone hates but still watches obsessively (though it apparently ended with “The Rise of Skywalker,” I don’t believe it) got new life with the launch of the Disney+ streaming service and “The Mandalorian,” a spinoff TV show.
The aforementioned show features a younger version of a certain famous character. So young, in fact, that you might consider him an infant. Are you intrigued? Of course you are. Long live Star Wars and the MCU, the only real cinema available to American audiences. Just accept it, okay?
Local hot topic of the year: The roads- Remember how mad you were? Remember how mad we all were?
There are a million jobs I don’t envy in the slightest, but man, I felt for County Engineer Gary Mauer this year—if for no other reason than the constant stream of angry phone calls. Here’s to hoping for better weather and better conditions in 2020.
Buzzword(s) of the year: Cancel culture- You thought I was only going to mention the Carson King situation once? How else am I supposed to get your attention?
The #MeToo movement has changed the way we talk about men—famous ones in particular—and its intersection with the policing of bad tweets and Facebook posts is creating a firestorm of hot takes that I’m probably better off avoiding altogether.
Is Dave Chappelle cancelled? Is Todd Phillips cancelled for telling an interviewer he’s sick of “woke culture?” Am I cancelled? Are you cancelled?
Who knows. I’ll leave it to Facebook commenters to figure it out.
Film of the year: Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood- They’ve tried to cancel Quentin Tarantino more times than anyone can count, but the king of the non-superhero cinematic event just keeps on emerging unscathed.
The director’s ninth film is a breathtakingly beautiful, elegiac ode to Los Angeles at the end of an era through the eyes of a TV actor (Leonardo DiCaprio) and a stuntman (Brad Pitt) coming to terms with their age and impending irrelevance against the backdrop of one of the most famous murders ever committed in America.
Like a great novelist, Tarantino delights in rewriting history to his own specifications and gives Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie) the ending she deserved. There are so many fantastic bit player performances—Al Pacino, Kurt Russell, the late Luke Perry, Timothy Olyphant, Bruce Dern and Damien Lewis (playing Steve McQueen)—that are easy to forget, and they combine to create one of the best films not just of the year, but of the entire decade.
“Once Upon a Time” is now locked in one of the best Oscar races in as long as I can remember, and while I won’t be mad if “Joker,” “The Irishman,” “Parasite” or “Uncut Gems” wins the big prize, Quentin deserves it for this late career masterpiece that’s more subdued and heartfelt than anything he’s made in nearly three decades.
National news story of the year: Impeachment- Yeah, I’m not even going to touch this one, sorry. You’ve already made up your mind about it one way or the other anyway. Happy New Year!
